Letters

Know your car

While on a 16 state drivefest with my new Bullitt I decided to avoid the interstates to get the real flavor of  certain states. The states being Alabama, Mississippi and Louisiana. While in Louisiana I checked the road map and decided to "deviate" from the mapped roads and see life as you might not normally see it. But before I "deviated" I decided to fill up the car so that running out of fuel would not be one of many potential hazards I might face. California plates, very loud, flashy, detailed, Mustang Bullitt, long blond haired driver.....I didn't need ANYTHING else against me!! Pulling into a service station somewhere off the 2 lane road I began to fill up my car and quickly gathered by the  attendant's smirkish look it was a full service station. A full service station? What the hell is that? Full service in Los Angeles means you DON'T have to go in for some ungodly reason to pay the attendant! Anyway while the attendant fetched my change his friends began to gather admire ling around my car where one says "wwwwwhhheeeennyyaaallll leeeveethe ppppaaaauuukkkinllottt get oooohhnnneeerrnow." Me: What? repeats "wwwwwhhheeeennyyaaallll leeeveethe ppppaaaauuukkkinllottt get oooohhnnneeerrnow."  Well about that time the "attendant" came out with my change where I was starting to get some self defense attitude thinking he saw my California plates and was telling me to "get out of here." So cockily I ask the attendant "hey, what did your friend just say to me?" Attendant: "Rayy, whhhaaddaya sayin to the man?" Ray: "wwwwwhhheeeennyyaaallll leeeveethe ppppaaaauuukkkinllottt get oooohhnnneeerrnow."  Attendant: "He wants ya to do a burnout when you leave the parking lot." Me: Oooooohhhhhh, no problema amigo. So I fire up the Stang, and she's got large 3" tube headers all the way back so we're sounding MEAN! I menacingly saunter out of the gravel parking lot and turned the wheels the opposite direction as to get the full ass end whip around when I put my foot in her and break her loose for a California Special. Well I had JUST  got the car right before the trip so I didn't totally understand the switching  for the "Traction Control" system on my car. Thinking it was off I wound up the 325hp 4.6 cranked the wheels and "let her have it!!" Well the first 2.4 seconds were starting off on the right foot as the back end swung loose and began to put some serious rubber to the road when UUUUUMMMMMMPPPPPPHHHHH...SPUTTER, SPUTTER, BLAH and the engine nearly shuts off giving the appearance that my Speeding Bullitt was falling FLAT on her face. DAMN!!! What the hell just happened!?! Is she starving for fuel!?! Was it a ignition failure!?! Aaaaaahhhhh !!! She regained power and questionably  sped off away from the pointing fingers laughing condescendingly at me and my slick Bullitt. Later it occurred to me maybe the button had to be pushed "in" to turn off the traction control. Hmmmmm Well in Oklahoma City I pulled into a large back parking lot where pickup loads of rowdy high school kids were partying. After getting full attention by revving the engine a number of times I was challenged to "wind 'er up!" to where I reached down and pushed the traction control button in and thought to myself "I'm either gonna be a hero or a total ass but here it goes! I spun through the first smokey 360 so fast I just hung on and kept her down! After completing a horrendously smokey, , parking lot filling, rubber burning 720 I was given a standing "O" by the appreciative audience! Just goes to show, don't assume anything...read the f*cking manual or try a couple of test burnouts BEFORE you get in font of a crowd!

-greg-

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